Subject: The Trump VPathon
Next week Sleepy Don will hold a VPathon and host the batch of chumps, err, contenders for the #2 spot on the republican ticket. The invited chumps, umm, contenders include Sens. Marco Rubio of Florida, Tim Scott of South Carolina and J.D. Vance of Ohio, as well as Govs. Doug Burgum of North Dakota and Kristi Noem of South Dakota, and Reps. Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) and Byron Donalds (R-Fla.).

Obviously, Sleepy Don's not actually going to name a running mate. This is just an opportunity to do what he does best: grift the suckers. This will be, after all, a deep-pocketed major donor retreat.

Cha-Ching.

I always figured he'd be picking a woman and the first choice might have been Noem. Well, at least before she bragged about shooting her puppy in the face and tossing him in her gravel pit.

Now that's not to say she's out of the running. Trump hates dogs -- "He died like a dog" being a favorite saying of his -- so they're kind of two peas in a pod.

But he's also under the delusion that New York state is in play, giving Stefanik a leg up.

And although her criminal activity in Arkansas pales in comparison to his own, smokey-eyed Huckabee Sanders has said she's not interested (and she has never lied).

News articles lately say that Lil Marco is the one, but I dunno. Journalists will be able to include in every article they write the tasty treat that Rubio suggested that Trump has a teeny weenie. Plus, Rubio would likely have to leave the Senate and leave the state. Somehow, that just doesn't seem likely. Plus, Trump doesn't need help in Florida -- well, unless, was it sano who suggested that Floridian women having to drive 700 miles to get healthcare may become a monkey in the wrench?

Burgum? Well, he's got the governor vibe but again, like Noem and Chuckabee, his state is already voting for Trump. Plus he's as boring as dishwater.

Scott? A Black guy who's rumored to be gay? Doesn't seem very MAGAty.

And “Stop the lawsuits, Kelly!” Donalds? Nope.

Right now I'm thinking Vance. He fully embraces his role as a MAGAer-than-thou republican.

He hates Ukraine -- has said Ukraine should give land to Russia and has no chance of winning the war -- and parrots Russian talking points. Sputnik loves him.

He constantly repeats the lie that the 2020 election was stolen and insists the president is immune from criminal prosecution.

He is overtly nationalistic.

He is hardline anti-immigration.

He is the embodiment of the authoritarianism that has taken hold of the American right.

And Vance could make a difference in the state of Ohio.

So Vance, the former Never Trumper, is the new frontrunner for the #2 spot.

At least until I change my mind.