Subject: Stephen Miller's role
Trump Sends Stephen Miller to L.A. to Act as Human Repellant

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what critics are calling an inflammatory move, Donald J. Trump announced on Tuesday that he was sending Stephen Miller to Los Angeles to act as a human repellant.

“No one empties a room faster than Stephen,” Trump said. “He’s better than teargas.”

But Trump’s plan faces a stiff legal challenge from human rights lawyers, who argue that the use of Stephen Miller violates the Geneva Conventions.