Subject: Boebert to declassify secrets
What could go wrong?

oh look, our Republican-led House of Representatives has formed a “task force in the declassification of federal secrets” — and look who they put on it: Handy Oakley, the woman who can’t even keep her own passion for lap hockey a secret.

this is one of the last things we need, to have a bunch of conspiracy-swallowing dunderheads like Roamin’ Hands Lauren and Anna Appalling Lunatic pawing through our nation’s most-closely-guarded files and going oh yeah, Putin should definitely see this. declassified!

but does it even matter, when all of our state secrets are going to eventually end up in some golf motel shitter?

remember, the Supreme Court ruled that Donny is a Very Special Boy who gets to declassify documents with his mind. he doesn’t need Handy Oakley to do his job for him.