Subject: Make America Grovel Again
Lessons from the Iran War

1. Iran is still sitting right where it was, still ready to slam the Strait of Hormuz closed at the drop of a diaper, and now they're going to be handed their entire wish list of demands for ending the conflict.

2. The mouth-breathing faithful get to pay the bill. Funds for the Make America Grovel Again fund are being collected at your local grocery stores, gas stations, and countless other locations. You can (and will) also pay by mail to your electric and natural gas utilities. Thanks so much for letting the rest of us participate.

3. In the future, if you're going to launch an unprovoked attack in a volatile area of the world just because you feel like it, it will help if your commander in chief isn't a senile loser.