Subject: Strait of Hormuz closed for renovations


Iran Says Hormuz Strait Will Close Two Years for Renovations

TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—In a major setback for Donald J. Trump, on Monday Iran announced that the Strait of Hormuz will be closed the next two years for renovations.

The Strait of Hormuz board, packed with cronies of Iran’s Supreme Leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, also approved a plan to put Khamenei’s name on the renovated waterway.

“The Khamenei Strait of Hormuz will be the biggest and most beautiful trade chokepoint EVER!” the ayatollah announced in a social media post.

In the same post, he indicated that the renovated strait would have a “world-class toll booth” fitted with marble armrests “unlike anything ever done or seen before!”

Borowitz