Subject: Which Christian are you?
“Jesus says very clearly at the end of the world, we’re going to be asked, you know, how did you receive the foreigner? Did you receive him and welcome him or not? And I think that there’s a deep reflection that needs to be made in terms of what’s happening.”
–Chicago-born Pope Leo XIV, asked by reporters about immigrants detained at the ICE facility in Broadview being refused the opportunity to receive holy Communion

"My Christian Faith is more about not jacking off than feeding the poor."
House Speaker Mike Johnson, as quoted in the Onion