Subject: Seriously, the Pedo Can't Even Read
From his "Thanksgiving" presser:

"Despite their size, Secretary Kennedy has formally certified that these are the first ever MAHA turkeys. They could be fat, but they're still MAHA. They've been fattened on a steady diet of grass, beef, to allow the smoothies and all the other things they have been eating for this occasion."

Not at all sure what he was trying to read. Beef tallow smoothies? Anyone?

He did manage to sneak in the traditional Thanksgiving message, though: governor Pritzker is "a big, fat slob."