Subject: Re: Inside the Trump SPAC IPO Debacle
Okay, this is just getting stupid.

I don't even have to guess at the conversation that led to this change of plea...

Shvartsman: Duuuude, I'm dyin' here. The feds got me coming and going, I'm facing 20 years if I lose. I'm burning through my ill gotten booty for legal fees to fight this thing, help me out!
DJT: Michael, people tell me things... I'm not really sure you're on our side. Are you on our side?
Shvartsman: Come on Mr. Trump, you know I am. I even talk to Eric to keep him on the phone so you don't have to talk to him...
DJT: Eric who?
Shvartsman: Your SON. The second one.
DJT: Oh yea. That one. Okay, I believe you. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get you in touch with my best lawyer. Well, not my best lawyer, that's Alani Habba, and she's not my best lawyer, she's actually terrible but who are we kidding, if I'm gonna have to sit in meetings with lawyers for twelve hours a day, I don't want to be staring at a dude all day. Da dat... Da dat... Dude looks like a lady... Wait a minute where were we?
Shvartsman: A lawyer... We were talking about a lawyer.
DJT: Oh yea. I'm gonna get you in touch with one of my excellent lawyers. He's read all the lawyer books. Really knows his stuff. You know he's never paid a parking ticket in his life. He's gonna help you out so here's the deal. I'm going to win in November and on my first day after the election I'm gonna free all the hostages and pardon everyone that helped me if you know what I mean...
Shvartsman: Mr. Trump, that's not the way it works... You won't be President until...
DJT: No, everything will be totally different after I win. We'll do away with the wait and I'll instantly become President. So if you plead guilty now, it might take 2-3 months for your sentencing hearing. Then it might be another 2 months before you have to report to Camp Cupcake for your stint in the ol' gray bar hotel. That's what Peter Navarro calls it now... Have you ever seen a prison? I've only seen them in movies... In movies about women's prisons...
Shvartsman: SIR! Focus here... Are you SURE you're gonna win? I could get twenty years for this?
DJT: I've got some things in the works in a couple of states, believe me, the election's in the bag. If you plead guilty now, you'll cut your legal bills in half, you might only spend a month or two in the pokey and you'll be out of there before you can learn to spell insurrection. More importantly, there won't be any excuse for the feds to air more dirt about everything else at TMTG in court cuz they already got their pound of flesh...
Shvartsman: Wait a minute, that's MY pound of flesh you're talking about!
DJT: Whatever...

Tell me I'm wrong.


WTH