Subject: The Onion continues its review of 2024's stor
This one is my favorite so far.

https://theonion.com/clarence-...
WASHINGTON—Admitting that he had never been more conflicted about a ruling in his life, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was reportedly torn Monday over a case in which both sides offered compelling scuba trips. “While there’s a strong historical precedent for a lavish excursion to Bali, the plaintiff has instead taken a more unorthodox approach and presented an all-expenses-paid diving trip off the shores of Aruba,” said a thoughtful, inquisitive Thomas, adding that while he had supported taking vacations with donors to Southeast Asia for years, he was starting to see the appeal of visiting the white sandy shores of the Caribbean.

Not bribes - gratuities, tips and should of course be tax exempt and while we're at it exempt from notifying any pesky watchdog agencies.