Subject: Trump's funeral will be HUGE!

Trump Says His Funeral Will Draw Much Bigger Crowd Than Ayatollah’s

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump boasted on Monday that his funeral will draw a “much bigger crowd” than that of the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

“The so-called Ayatollah, who was a loser and a terrible person, got a pathetic turnout for his funeral,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “My funeral will draw MILLIONS!”

Claiming that “nobody cares” about Khanenei’s funeral, Trump said he expects the turnout at his funeral to set records, noting, “Every day, people say to me, ‘Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.’”

Over the weekend, Trump’s July 4 festivities in the nation’s capital drew billions of algae.