Subject: If only this were true
From The Borowitz Report - https://www.borowitzreport.com...:

Massive Computer Error by DOGE Donates Musk’s Entire Fortune to Save the Children

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a disastrous setback for Elon Musk, on Friday a coding error by a teenaged member of DOGE resulted in the tech titan’s entire fortune being donated to Save the Children.

Treyson Parlow, 16, said that he had apologized to Musk, whose net worth now stands at zero dollars.

“In fairness, he never should have hired me,” the sophomore said. “I got a C in computer science last semester.”

According to sources, frantic attempts by the newly impoverished Musk to reach Donald J. Trump have gone straight to voicemail.