No. of Recommendations: 6
In that rubric, they all mean the same thing. They just don't mean what you think they should mean (always a reference to biological factors), but instead they always refer to someone's gender identity. It's pretty basic stuff here - and just common courtesy.
At a corporate convention in Las Vegas an attendee's name/city I.D. badge caused me to ask her if she had bought the franchise contract for that region. She told me that she had been a partner in the business with her brother (who I had met at a previous convention). I asked why he wasn't attending too. She said "He died."
That evening a small group of western contractors met to dine at a fancy steak house and hit the tables at the Hard Rock after dinner. Another contractor sat by me at the blackjack table and I asked him discretely if he knew Bill had died and his sister took over the business. He told me, "That is Bill." It took me a moment to process that, but I was totally fine with it. I did wonder how a veteran salvage diver could maintain such perfect fingernails.
In her mind, Bill did die and she was born. It would have been unacceptably rude and insulting had I insisted on using he/him pronouns for an associate that looked quite elegant that evening in a 'little black dress', high heels, perfect hair & makeup as we enjoyed our evening on the town. Besides, she was taller, considerably younger, and being as capable a salvage diver as me, very likely could have kicked my ass.
It's my understanding that the desire to be addressed with pronouns based on appearance began with college aged people -unafraid of social progress- about 5 yrs ago. It's not unreasonable to respect a persons choice based on obvious appearance. The bigotry towards trans people we are seeing now appears similar to that which other minorities have faced and continue to face from bigots.
