Elmo has restarted his campaign against the Big Ugly Bill by threating to primary every republican who campaigned on cutting federal spending but will vote "for the biggest debt increase in history" and promises to primary each and every one of them "next year if it is the last thing I do on this Earth."

Huh.

Befitting the dignity of the presidency, Mad King Donald used his office to respond by hawking Trump Cologne for Men ($249 - In-Stock) and Trump Perfume for Women ($249 - In-Stock).

Oh wait, that was a different side hustle misusing the office of the presidency. And you cultists aren't embarrassed, nosiree.

Here's what Mad King Donald did: he threatened to take away all of Elmo's government contracts... "Elon may get more subsidy than any human being in history, by far, and without subsidies, Elon would probably have to close up shop and head back home to South Africa. No more Rocket launches, Satellites, or Electric Car Production, and our Country would save a FORTUNE. Perhaps we should have DOGE take a good, hard, look at this? BIG MONEY TO BE SAVED!!!"

Well, one thing is certain: those two assholes deserve each other.

Now run along little cultists and buy some $250 toilet water from your hero, the man who brings such dignity to the White House.