Invest your own money, let compound effect be your leverage, and avoid debt like the plague.
- Manlobbi
Halls of Shrewd'm / US Policy
No. of Recommendations: 2
No. of Recommendations: 8
1poormom participated in one of those packages with an advisor. She loved the guy, so when I took over her finances she wanted me to keep him. So I did, but I moved all the non-ira out (the brokerage was charging commissions on trades). When I inherited the ira, they tried to woo me, but I immediately moved it out to fido.
They were charging 4% for doing nothing other than bundling MFs together and presenting them as a "product". Fido opened an inherited ira account and informed me of RMDs every year. For free.
No. of Recommendations: 9
Our experience with FAs is that they are great salesmen, but typically don't know all that much about investing, other than the package they are told to assign you. I think our FA learned more about investing from me than we did from him, yet there were constant articles about him in USA TODAY, about how great he was. It was to the point that I assumed these were paid for ads.
The poor guy literally wailed "People don't leave me!" when we told him his services were no longer needed. The best thing his fee did was convince DH that I knew what I was doing, even without an alphabet soup of qualifications after my name. I have to thank TMF for that.
IP
No. of Recommendations: 4
<< Our experience with FAs is that they are great salesmen, but typically don't know all that much about investing, other than the package they are told to assign you. I think our FA learned more about investing from me than we did from him. >>
Imagine how much more money you'd have if you were trained from the start that you didn't need an advisor.
That's why I always tell people that, by far, the most valuable course I took at the very fine engineering school I attended was the 3-day 'Investment Philosophy" course I took as an 18-year-old Freshman.
That's where I learned about "fees, commissions and taxes" and why you needed to avoid them.
intercst
No. of Recommendations: 7
Imagine how much more money you'd have if you were trained from the start that you didn't need an advisor.
LOL. I didn't need that training. I was comfortable with doing it myself, but DH has a deep respect for that alphabet soup, and divorce would have been a lot more expensive than the fees we paid for him to learn that having a bunch of letters after your name doesn't automatically make one better than those without. Though I know you are ignorant in matters of dealing with a spouse, sometimes the best approach to ending an argument is to simply let them have their way for a while and then let them clean up the shit that hits the fan from their approach. Particularly when that spouse is an engineer. You all are an interesting breed, particularly when you are oh so sure of yourselves and simply won't listen. Have to let the data speak for itself.
IP,
who has learned to talk via spreadsheets for maximum understanding
No. of Recommendations: 0
<< Though I know you are ignorant in matters of dealing with a spouse, >>
On the contrary, I'm quite familiar (from observing others}, and that's why I'm happily unmarried.
intercst
No. of Recommendations: 11
<< Though I know you are ignorant in matters of dealing with a spouse, >>
On the contrary, I'm quite familiar (from observing others}, and that's why I'm happily unmarried.
Stop, please. You made me laugh so hard I snorted my coffee.
Perfect example of engineer superior thinking that you know it all. That's kind of like saying you went to a Michelin star restaurant last night so now you know what it's like to be a top chef.
On the other hand, I have always believed that you have made the right choice in staying single, but that's because of who you are, not what the institution of marriage is. No matter what our individual issues are, and DH and I both have them, collectively we are significantly stronger as a couple than we would be separately. That's from almost 35 years experience as a couple, with all the joys and stresses that 35 years of family life brings.
IP
No. of Recommendations: 5
My brother and his wife could never have kids. One of my retired neighbors also could never have kids.
I always thought that if we were childless our lives would have been essentially meaningless, having made no contribution to the continuation of the human race or our bloddline.
What a tragedy, to have effectively betrayed your thousands of ancestors by terminating their bloodline at yourself.
Our ancestors would be pleased to know that not only the two of us, but also our 3 kids have sustained their heritage.
Interesting to know that they are the 18th generation down from our ancestor who stepped ashore before the country was still uncharted wilderness and indeed was not yet a country. He would be pleased I think.
How sad to never barely audibly hear your name called from the other room and getting up and going in and saying "Yes? You called me?" and being told "No, but I was just thinking about you."
::sniff::
No. of Recommendations: 14
I always thought that if we were childless our lives would have been essentially meaningless, having made no contribution to the continuation of the human race or our bloddline.
What a tragedy, to have effectively betrayed your thousands of ancestors by terminating their bloodline at yourself
Your ancestors are dead and don't care. The tragedy is bowing to peer pressure and having kids if you don't want them. I wouldn't give mine up for the world, (also 18th generation, for this continent at least, with ancestors coming to New France in the mid 1600's and viewed as a founding father,)but absolutely respect those people who know themselves well enough to know they don't want kids. Too many unwanted kids in this world already, without more piling on because it is expected of them.
At one point, Youngest told he he did not want kids, given the way this world was heading. I expressed my belief that he would be a great father, and there were kids out there who would really benefit from his compassion, either as a foster kid or adopted. He didn't need to add to the world population to be the great parent he would be. Family is family, whether genetically connected or not.
A meaningful life is up to you to define.
IP
No. of Recommendations: 2
You judge others by your own experience.
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
No. of Recommendations: 6
You judge others by your own experience.
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
Yep.
I don't give a crap about my ancestors. I don't give a crap about bloodlines. I'm not Aragorn, I have no concerns about the line being broken.
For those who do, fine. I think it's a bad reason to want a kid, but if you're a good parent then that's all that really matters.
No. of Recommendations: 2
It's not necessary to have a reason or even to want to have a kid.
Sometimes, possibly a lot of the time, the zygote is created without your intention.
As in:
"I don't think this is a good idea today."
"Oh, I think it is a GREAT idea."
A few weeks later: "Hey remember when I said I didn't think it was a good idea? Well guess what!"
Of course, that can be dealt with if you so desire.
The future belongs to those who show up.
If you don't care about the future -- and we'll all be dead so we won't know -- then it doesn't matter. Mine will show up.
No. of Recommendations: 1
<< Stop, please. You made me laugh so hard I snorted my coffee.
Perfect example of engineer superior thinking that you know it all. That's kind of like saying you went to a Michelin star restaurant last night so now you know what it's like to be a top chef. >>
Wow, it looks like I may have touched a nerve, which proves my point.
With a little observation, I don't have to put my hand on the stove to know that it's hot. {{ LOL }}
intercst
No. of Recommendations: 6
Wow, it looks like I may have touched a nerve, which proves my point.
LOL. You imagine your powers of observation to be better than they actually are. Your powers of imagination on the other hand seem quite productive. I thought engineers were supposed to be evidence based, not speculative!
IP
No. of Recommendations: 1
I'm not Aragorn, I have no concerns about the line being broken.
I'm pretty sure I didn't sire any children in The Silmarillion, either.
No. of Recommendations: 9
While the assortment of genes that we each contain is completely unique and unitary, (twins not withstanding), we are all still 99.9% identical genomically. The bulk of our genes are involved with the function of individual cellular health and reproduction. We all share that with each other and indeed with all eukaryotic life, both single and multicellular.
The assortment of genes that make us human are spread throughout humanity. My particular assortment as a specimen contains no unique segments. My two children have them grouped a bit tighter together, than otherwise encountered but that is all. My existence as a parent does not propagate my genes in a meaningful way to the population at large. My life as a parent is precious beyond measure.
Reproduction is a biological imperative that expresses itself in the individual. Life that did not express it is no longer present. We are both imprisoned and liberated by the complex biology that makes us up. So we have children or we don't because the nurture, nature, and experience drive us to. Have no fear, humans will persist for some time yet, but our time will come.
So dance, sing, be foolish or shrewd, and express your genomic self as the tumbling dice have rolled you. Roll a few dice of your own or step away from the table. Feel the real connection of all life because it is related to you.
No. of Recommendations: 5
Wow.
I have people in my circle with serious genetic or other challenges that don't want to impart that on another, and chose not to have children. Some adopted, some weighed into communities or cohorts in their own way and made contributions/family in their own way.
I have people in my circle with addictive tendencies - same thing.
Same-same folks who don't feel romantic connections.
Pretty harsh to judge their choices.
Some who have reproduces damn sure shouldn't have - Jim Bob and Michele Duggar, who have multiple felons in their circle of 19 kids.
No. of Recommendations: 4
Particularly when that spouse is an engineer. You all are an interesting breed, particularly when you are oh so sure of yourselves and simply won't listen. Have to let the data speak for itself.
I resemble that statement!
No. of Recommendations: 3
I rarely ever say anything but it is amazing how many people have financial advisers and don't seem to mind paying the fees. I just had lunch with 5 retirees and most all of them mentioned using advisers. Now most weren't high end but like Vanguard or Fidelity but we are talking about engineers and other tech folks. Some people just have zero interest in investing. And in some cases in the past I would hear about how they were friends with the financial guy so they are letting friendship get in the way of business.
I just used an independent insurance broker and was able to save nearly $175 per month on our insurance policies. I was impressed that my old insurance company refunded my payments within the week.
Anyhow, I think this topic has lived on too long. Sorry for extending it.
Rich
No. of Recommendations: 1
“Family is family, whether genetically connected or not.”
Thank you for this response to natalist nonsense.
