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Author: commonone 🐝 HONORARY
SHREWD
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Number: of 48467 
Subject: Mike Johnson: I am God's New Moses
Date: 12/07/2023 4:00 PM
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Well, at least we're back on topic.

When new House Speaker Mike Johnson appeared at the National Association of Christian Lawmakers Gala this week, he thanked the NACL for banning media from the event. Evidently Mike is too stupid to understand the event is livestreamed on social media but anyway... Johnson told the audience that weeks before he became House Speaker, God began preparing him to lead the nation through "a Red Sea moment." Johnson said he didn’t know what that meant at the time, but assumed it meant that he was to serve as an Aaron to someone else's Moses.

"The Lord impressed upon my heart a few weeks before this happened that something was going to occur. And the Lord very specifically told me in my prayers to prepare, but to wait. I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large. [God] had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready.

God came to Johnson each night in the middle of the night to speak to him, telling him to write things down; plans, procedures, and ideas on how he could pull the conference together. He would be Aaron to God's new Moses.

Umm, nope.

As each speaker failed to get the necessary votes, the Lord kept telling Johnson to wait, wait, and then, toward the end, the Lord said: "Now, step forward."

"Me? I’m supposed to be Aaron," Johnson said. "'No,' The Lord said, 'Step forward.'"

Thus saith the Lord.

Now go forth and smote the transgendered and the "demonic" homosexuals, put those migrant children in cages, and lead Putin to victory in Ukraine.

Oh, and don't adopt anymore 14-year-old Black boys.

Say Hallelujah!
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Author: EchotaSheeple   😊 😞
Number: of 48467 
Subject: Re: Mike Johnson: I am God's New Moses
Date: 12/07/2023 7:01 PM
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Moses is less and less relevant.

The Prophet Mohammed - Peace Be Unto Him..... is on the rise.

From Paris to Austin to Brussels to Tel Aviv.....

Oh the fun that awaits.
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Author: ges 🐝  😊 😞
Number: of 48467 
Subject: Re: Mike Johnson: I am God's New Moses
Date: 12/08/2023 12:42 PM
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This is from the Onion, right? /s
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