Betcha some of you here can relate to acting stupid during your collage days.

You mean our college days? Or days in art school?

Speaking for myself, I absolutely did many stupid things during my college days. And days before. And days since.

The problem is that after my career as a nutjob vlogger, and after I wrote children's books about being Donald Trump's massage-cream boy, when he appointed me Director of the FBI, I was still getting shitfaced on the reg, and that endangers the country. The Atlantic story is a story about how worried my co-workers and subordinates are about my alcoholism and my utter lack of self-control. Like when the whole world watched me chug an entire beer on TV. My $250 million self-own lawsuit against that deeply-researched story is another good example.

And if you think they "vetted" me before I was given this job, congrats—you're one of the few people out there more gullible than I am. I definitely appreciate your blind ignorant loyalty in the face of overwheming evidence, and I'm sure the big guy feels the same.

See you in Valhalla, l'il lurker!