But they also want other things - they want the rest of the Gulf states to not go nuclear, they want to be able to use proxies without possibly precipitating a nuclear exchange, etc.

There are 2 nuclear powers in Iran's neighborhood, Israel and Pakistan. The Gulf states also are de facto under the United States' nuclear umbrella. There's no universe where the Kuwaitis or Saudis are going to build a nuke unless we walk away from the region (which was the Obama plan). Thankfully we're not doing that.

It's like Donald Trump and Greenland. Trump wants to acquire Greenland. That's not a bluff, it's not a lie, it's not strategic posturing - Trump genuinely wants the U.S. to have possession of Greenland. And Trump could seize Greenland within a few weeks of giving the order.

This is another thing the left gets wrong. What Trump wants is rare Earth minerals and he wants the NATO scofflaws to take Arctic security seriously. If he can get those two things then he doesn't need to annex Greenland. Our NATO "allies" are strategically short-sighted and frankly uninterested in making serious investments in Western economic independence.

Similarly, Iran genuinely and totally wants a nuclear weapon - but they weigh that against the consequences. They are constrained, not by lacking a desire for a nuke, but by the events that going nuclear would precipitate.

You've assumed a certain level of rationality in their decision making. They've demonstrated over 47 years the exact opposite.

Peacetime in the sense of not being in a hot war.
From the Iranian perspective they've been in a hot war with us that entire time.