I'll start--

I was born in Queens NYC. Have lived here basically all my life in the greater Metro NYC area, except for a few years in Boston (college) and Washington D.C. (for work).

Hey, we've got something in common! I grew up in Queens too, in a 23-room mansion because my parents were better than your parents and had more money. Your parents were losers. Or maybe just suckers.

I don't live in NYC any more though, I got a high-paying gig in DC and now I split my time between there and Florida. But I still have business dealings in NY, though not as many as I used to since my charity foundation got shut down for committing fraud, as did my "university" (which wasn't really a university). And I've bankrupted six businesses.

I'm a convicted rapist, and 34-time convicted felon. I like to fill my days with wonderful secrets. I like to grab women by the pussy, especially ones on the younger side. They let me do it, because I'm such a great guy. In fact, I'm the greatest guy in the history of the world, if you really want to know who I am. I try not to brag, but hey, you asked.

In fact, I'm so great, I'm thinking of running for President in 2028. Things have gotten too expensive for people. I'm going to cut prices 500%! Whaddaya think? Can I count on your support?