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Trump Urges Vatican to Select New Pope from Cast of "Fox & Friends"
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Arguing that “it’s the smartest way to go,” Donald J. Trump urged the Vatican on Monday to select the next pope from the cast of “Fox & Friends.”
“You want to have a pope who’s good on TV,” Trump said. “The ‘Fox & Friends’ people are the best TV people in the business.”
Trump seemed to disqualify co-host Ainsley Earhardt, commenting, “I don’t know if you can have a girl pope. No knock on Ainsley, but I don’t think people are ready for that.”
Alternatively, he added, "Maybe go with Doocy--he looks like he's never had sex."
Borowitz : )
