Our daughter said they are both wrong, and they are. Like me, she sympathizes with the innocent civilians.

I think there's some missing context.
Namely, these:
1. Gaza has been free from the Israeli occupation since IIRC 2005. What have they been doing since then?

There are large natural gas deposits just offshore. Why aren't using that?
Why do they have what amounts to zero economy?
Why have they built literally nothing resembling a functioning society since then?

2. What precipitated this current state?
Hamas sent dozens of terrorists inside Israel. Once there, they did this:
themedialine.org - Evidence on display at israels forensic pathology center confirms hamas atrocities

Warning: Graphic images.
During the initial press conference, the forensics team showed images from their investigations. Among the images were those of charred hands with marks that revealed where the victims' hands were bound behind their backs with metal wire before being burned alive.

Hamas terrorists even bound a parent and child together with metal wire, then burned them both alive. They couldn't tell what the mass they had was until they did a CT scan on it.

That's what Israel is up against. With all due respect to your daughter, there is no "both sides" here. The Israelis have been telling the Gazans to leave for over a week now.