Quoted from OP:

“Whole life is not terrible for everybody; it’s just terrible for mostly everybody,”

Not for everyone; each of us has unique needs, but IMNSHO, all insurance is suboptimal. The only insurance my wife and I have is that required by our mortgage lender and by our State for the vehicles we own. When we were working, we had life insurance up to the amount our employers supplied, and no more.

We like the odds the insurers are betting that they won't have to pay off on any particular policy on any particular day. Insurers make their money on investing the collected premiums. We do, and did, the same with the premiums not paid by not buying insurance. When my wife had her double mastectomy 25+ years ago, we paid cash for the biopsy done first and then cash for the surgery. The total amount paid was less than the accumulated premiums we would have paid to an insurer--and still would have been required to pay 20% each for the biopsy and the surgery.

Everything life insurance is supposed to cover is covered by our invested "premiums."

Eric Hines