Post #47203 by ges on the US Policy board

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Trump Orders National Guard to Carry Him up to Plane

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After slipping on the steps of Air Force One yet another time, on Monday Donald J. Trump ordered the National Guard to carry him up to his plane.

In an executive order declaring a national emergency, Trump pronounced the metal stairs “An Enemy of the People.”

Trump refused to rule out a sweeping ban on stairs, telling reporters, “We’re looking into that very strongly.”

A guardsman who helped carry Trump was taken aback by his poor physical condition, remarking, “I guess he was in better shape when he boarded Epstein’s plane.”

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