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Our orange God is liberating us with his tariffs! LOL
“April 2nd is Liberation Day in America!!!”
so decreed Mad King Donny in one of his late-night rage-blurts.
that’s the day Donny’s gonna tariff the shit out of … who, exactly? that’s the thing: no one has any clue. he keeps moving the goalposts, changing his mind on a daily basis, and it’s driving the markets crazy.
Donny’s got the emotional stability of a two-year-old melting down over a dropped ice cream cone, so he’s been threatening tariffs on whoever he happens to be beefing with on any given day. could be Canada, or the European Union. yesterday it was Russia, of all places.
it’s all one big fucktacular shitpile of incoherence — so naturally, the Sunday news show hosts had only one question for the Sewer Clowns: what the fuck’s the deal with these tariffs?
here’s energy vampire Kevin Hassett, grinning like a loon as he stares straight into the abyss and admits he doesn’t know shit about shit.
“and so President Trump has a long run vision of a golden age of America, and we’re working really really hard to get it out there in time. but I can’t give you any uh forward-looking guidance on what’s going to happen this week. the president has got a heck of a lot of analysis for him and he’s going to make the right choice, I’m sure.”
that’s basically a lot of words just to say fuck if I know.
thing is, Kevin Hassett is the Director of the National Economic Council. it’s his freaking job to know what Donny has planned, and to explain it to us — and instead of doing that, he confesses I can’t give you any guidance. Donny’s gonna do what he’s gonna do.
of course, explaining Donny’s tariffs is quite simple if you don’t give a shit about coming anywhere close to the truth.
FOX host: “what’s the message to the US consumer?”
Peter Navarro: “the message is that tariffs are tax cuts.”
obviously, tariffs are most certainly not tax cuts, but here’s a fun fact about Navarro: he’s so allergic to telling the truth that he’d rather rot in prison than be honest. in 2023, Pete spent four months behind bars for refusing to appear before the January 6th Committee and tell them what he knew about Donny’s post-election fuckery.
that’s right: when given the choice between testifying under oath to Congress and going to jail, Petey was all orange-jump-suit me, bro.
so of course he’ll happily lie his smirking little face off about Donny’s tariffs.
Tiedrich
